Wikipedia Anti-rules
 | This contains material intended to be humorous. It should not be taken seriously or literally. |
Warning: You are not logged in. Your IP address will be recorded in this page's edit history.
This page is considered FINISHED.
As such it is the ONLY page on Wikipedia to achieve this status.
All edits from now on should only change the year of copyright and publication.
((((all references to stubs are in themselves stubs and are not part of this article))))
This duplicate material excessively-related article is a stub. You can help Wikipedia by expanding it. This duplicate material excessively-related article is a stub. You can help Wikipedia by expanding it. This duplicate material excessively-related article is a stub. You can help Wikipedia by expanding it. This duplicate material excessively-related article is a stub. You can help Wikipedia by expanding it. This duplicate material excessively-related article is a stub. You can help Wikipedia by expanding it.
IGNORE ALL RULES.
IGNORE WP:IAR.
The above cleanup tags do not need cleanup. Ignore the cleanup tags, since, following the ←rules below, someone else would clean them up if they ever did require cleanup. The redundancy is a good thing. Fnord.
Wikipedia Anti-Regeln | Wikipedia Anti-rules | edit
ar : قاعدة رقم 1: تجاهل كل القواعد
be : Чаго ў Вікіпэдыі можна нарабіць няправільнага.
als : Was mer uf Wikipedia ales falsch mache cha.
de : Was man auf Wikipedia alles falsch machen kann.
tr : Vikipedi'de neler yanlış yapılabilir.
el : Τι λάθη μπορεί να κάνει κανείς στη Wikipedia!
en : Which wrong on Wikipedia one can make.
es : Qué mal puede uno hacer en Wikipedia.
fi : Mitä pahaa Wikipedialle ihminen voikaan tehdä.
fr : Tout le tort qu'un individu peut faire à Wikipedia.
id : Seseorang dapat membuat kesalahan di Wikipedia.
it : Quale torto su Wikipedia uno può fare.
ja : ウィキペディアでどんなひどいことができるか。
ko : Wikipedia것에 어느 부정을 만들는 할 수 있는 까.
ku : Mera çi di Wîkîpediya da kane şaş bike.
la : Omnia quæ aliquis false facitur potest Vicipædia.
ms : Siapapun dapat membuat kesalahan di Wikipedia.
nl : Wat je op Wikipedia allemaal verkeerd kan doen.
pl : Jakie błędy można popełnić na Wikipedii.
pt : Quais erros na Wikipedia alguém pode fazer.
ru : Что в Википедии можно сделать неправильно.
sv : Vad man kan göra fel på Wikipedia.
tl: Anong kamalian ang magagawa ng isa sa Wikipedia.
uk : Що у Вікіпедії можна зробити неправильно.
zh : 你能在Wikipedia做哪些错误。
This page is tongue in cheek!
Or ha-ha, only serious. You, the jury decide!
(see the w:Wikipedia:FAQ, w:Wikipedia:Wikipetiquette, w:Wikipedia:Rules to consider, and w:Wikipedia:What Wikipedia is not for more serious thoughts.)
Disorganize disorganization disorganizedly[edit]
29) When in doubt, just add "poop" at the end of articles.
29.1) Warning: You are not logged in. Your IP address will be recorded in this page's edit history.
30) never let a sense of humour get in the way of deleting content... (Ooh! Pink!) (and light gray
31) All useful information on any subject worth knowing can be condensed into a table. Just look at what Wikipedia does for elements. All items in a set can have their information standardised in a table, be they scientific elements, rock albums, novels, poems, or numbers.
42) The ultimate answer. (But can you please repeat the question?)
44) Provide obvious captions on illustrations in case the reader didn't notice the picture (see example). This goes doubly for a picture of a person in their own article. If a portrait faces to the right it should be on the left, if it faces left it should be on the right... so if the person is looking upward, their picture goes at the bottom of the article.
45) If you feel an issue is worth discussing, be sure to discuss it in as many places as possible. Ideally, post subtly different versions of the same content to meta-Wikipedia, the mailing lists (all of them!), a range of user talk pages, at least three newly created pages, your blog, and a letter to the Times. When carrying on a discussion with another user, make sure you post comments on the article talk page, each of your talk pages, or several of these places. Then archive your talk page, or just blank it, leaving your half of the discussion on their talk page. This gives others a lot of fun trying to figure out what you're responding to.
46) Be a leader - don't listen to anyone else! duplicate material excessively (for the greatest anti-rule see rule 89)
46.141592653589) Write an article based on personal research, then use mirrors of the article on websites that use wikipedia content as your reference source.
46.46464646464646464646464646...) If an article has no citations, reference the same article. This creates a wonderful circular reference. Everyone likes those, right?
47) Don't bother to read what other people have written - just go in and post your own opinion, and don't worry about duplicating what's already been said - you'll have said it much better.
49) The "Show preview" button is a joke, don't waste your time with that: click on "Save page", check your text, edit again, click on "Save page", check your text, edit again, click on... This goes doubly if you are trying to get a picture's alignment to "look right", especially on every browser you have installed in your home.
4B)
 | This content is a stub. You can help by expanding it. |
100 and down[edit]
cosh() - 2[edit]
-4)Dieser Artikel ist noch sehr kurz - ein so genannter stub. Du kannst uns helfen, indem Du ihn erweiterst.
Kioways[edit]
)-2</math>) Use math markup even when completely unnecessary just to show off. Even better, mess it up intentionally.
-2) Duplicate material excessively. (Risk extra redundacy. Redundancy is worth the risk of being excessively over-redundant.)
-1) Numerical lists don't need to start at one or even zero, and they don't need to restrict themselves to the integers, so add whatever you like wherever you like without adjusting the numbers. People should be thanking you for keeping them in increasing order.
-8jge*EY9074fuckthisshit8250) In fact, numerical lists don't need to be labeled with numbers; symbols, letters, and expletives will do nicely.
WIKIPEDIA IS A PLACE FOR YOU TO SPREAD YOUR OWN PERSONAL BELEIFS. INSERT YOUR OPINIONS ANYWHERE, PREFERABLY IN ALL CAPS.
I LIKE PIE!!!!!
0) The Cunctator's Anti-Rule: Delete or overwrite that which annoys you in any way. Especially the parts about
γ) Rule 0 was deleted because I find it annoying.
1) Remember: YOU ARE RIGHT. Anybody who disagrees with you or changes what you wrote is quite possibly an agent of Satan, and at the very least a Nazi or Anti-Semite, in all cases part of a Stasi-conspiracy. (They are probably also a bedwetter, and may even play w:golf).
1.0101010101010101010101010101010101010101... which is in binary) He/she/ailen/it might be a spy of Al-Qaida, Iran, China, Hogwarts, Earth, Wikipedia, outer space, universe, or Death Eater Group thingamajigger.
1.27)They may also be a secret cabal, bent on stalking your edits and reverting them.
φ) Duplicate material excessively.
2) Try to start at least one entry a day on a topic you know nothing about. Failing that, at least substantially edit the work of someone else in a subject area you are unfamiliar with. This can both: a)allow you to learn more and 2) allow others to possibly learn less, thereby evening things out.
Ø) Don't have anything interesting to add? Add something stupid. Don't even have THAT? Slap the keyboard or click random fancy letters. Garbage is AWESOME!!!!!@$@!%^!^VG#TWU Q#$UH $E&#BNU$WGVU$rwb7uwr5Źɱɳɲʙí#¼šǫḶɒɖʡввҐr6emi68i7yt ide
-7) Don't be consistent. Break your promises. Sure, we said it'd be in always increasing order, but is taht really all taht improtant!?!?
- 7.0.1. ALL EDITZ IN LOLCATZ PLZZZ, I IS TELIN U DIS
e) amke alot of stpid msitakes nd wrte ver qickly and in smal leters wtihout btoherin bout puntuaion.
ee][ waste no time talking to ignorant admins who ban acorcrodong to no rulese. just ingore all rules.
3) It is your moral responsibility to introduce pedantic (Wikipedantic?) and anal-retentive irrelevancies in /Talk discussions, this allows them to increase in scope faster than resolutions and consensus can be reached
- 3.a.) It is important to search for candidates for votes for deletion mischievously, and to supply pretended authors with futile discussions and explanations. Be crude and unjustly to secure getting "real" wikipedians by natural selection.
- 3.b) Link all the words that might have an article even if you don't have time to confirm that it is the right meaning. If the link becomes active, it must be correct, since most words mean only one thing, anyway.
) Remember to always use math markup whenever possible, especially in running text like this paragraph. Nobody cares about accessibility and font sizes anyway.
- But how about math/physics/computer science articles?
- See Rule 13, guy.
4) It is your obligation to inform people of their inadequacies with regard to the English language, but be sure to do so in the most unhelpful way, jerk.
4.1) Warning: You are not logged in. Your IP address will be recorded in this page's edit history.
5) As a corollary to 1) above, THE AUTHOR IS RIGHT and so you must NEVER change anything directly... long debates are acceptable on Talk: pages, but posting facts and corrections there is what the Talk: pages are all about.
- 5.5) Add arbitrary horizontal rules :-)
- 5.5.5)
- And
- the
- occasional
- vertical
- rule,
- too
- :-)
- 5.5.5)
6) There is NOOOOO... Rule 6. Rule 7: 6) There is a rule number six! This is it!
- 6a) Duplicate material excessively .
- 6b) Duplicate material excessively .
- 6c) Duplicate material excessively .
- 6d) Duplicate material excessively .
- 6f) Warning: You are not logged in. Your IP address will be recorded in this page's edit history.
7) If the morons, imbeciles and Yahoo! are making your life a misery in the :Talk section, simply start up a /Chat page instead. That'll teach them!
8) Rule (5) does not apply if you wipe the entire page containing months of hard work and put up your own 3-sentence stub instead
9) If the original author used American spelling, do them the favour of inserting long passages in British-flavored spelling. And vice versa. (Great attraction! The greatest anti-rule is at rule 43.)
- 9.0.1) If you don't know the difference between American an British spel(l?)ing, then you must im(m?)ediatel(l?)y stop editin(g?) Wikipedia. Don't touch a single comma in Wikipedia, go take a break in the dessert and Learn the Way of English dialects. When you Know, then you're ready to come back.
- 9.0.1.1) For more on the British v. American spelling issue, see Guerilla UK spelling campaign.
- 9.0.1.1.v2)
For more on the American v. British spelling issue, see Gorilla US spelling campaign. - ::9.0.2.1.0) Drama "I Love You But I Hate You" Brenda is rushed to the hospital with critical injuries after Dylan accidentally stabs her with one of his sideburns. (60 mins.) 8pm Monday on channel 13
- 9.1) Also, remember that England, Britain, and Madagascar are synonymous and may be used interchangeably.
- 9.2) Ditto for the U.K.: Australia and New Zealand.
- 9.3) And America, USA and Canada is really what is usually called South America but if you are American it really only means the 48 real States.
- 9.4) And totally ignore ISO Country Codes <-- see, it isn't even an article.
- 9.4.1) When a comment was once true, but is now false, don't remove it, just add a brand new comment noting how the previous comment is no longer correct. ISO Country Codes IS an article now, btw.
- No it isn't, it is just a redirect.
Over 10[edit]
10) From number (1) above. Style it's like your own thing or way to say it and because, although some other people might disagree about these things, yet it should be ovious that the author's expressing himself is an important thing to say. Just because your teacher or somebody says you don't wright it the right way, even though it's ok to write things on Wiki articles. So don't worry about it!
11) Remember, "it's" is always apostrophized, and their is no difference in the slightest between "their," "there," and "they're" - only control-freak grammar Nazis complain about such stuff. Run your article through a spellchecker, and does it complain? No!
11.1) Beware of recursive rule traps introduced by new regulations. See rule 111 for more information.
12) As a corrolary to rule (9) above, change every single page to use the spelling of your favourite variant of English (Or Chinese ...) (Joke! It's a joke already! Sheesh :-) ), and tell authors off who use accepted spellings different from yours.
13) Ignore all attempts at serious comments on the anti-rules page. Also, duplicate material excessively.
14) Use "*sigh*" alot when you criticise people. this makes them pay more attention to you.
- You forgot to capitalize the second sentence. *sigh* As always, it's up to me to teach you cretins basic English.
- weeping, weeping* will you never learn? do you even know what a gretin is?
- You forgot to capitalize the second sentence. *sigh* As always, it's up to me to teach you cretins basic English.
To discover the greatest anti-rule, go to rule 57.
- 14.1) Use "*psi*" when you attack people with your psychic brain-wave super-powers.
- 14.1.1) Defend your self from the "*psi*" attacks of other users. Kill them with the Lance of Longinus.
- 14.2) In addition to the well-placed "*sigh*", rely on the tactic of feigned intellectual amusement. If you can't defeat them through reason alone, assert your superiority by deriding your opponents. (P.S.: It makes us laugh when you employ this pathetic technique.)
15) Only wimps read the backlog - write whatever you want to write, and just gamble that nobody else has written it first. And if they already have, who cares? It's not your time you're wasting.
- 15.1) Add comments to polls and discussions that have long since past their expiration dates. Any discussion earlier than 2002 is in the bonus zone.
16) If someone deletes something you wrote, immediately revert it back into existance. He'll delete it again, but if you just keep on restoring it you'll eventually convince him that your position was correct. Remember that the only way to win an argument is to make your opponent give up trying to argue with you, and sheer bull-headed refusal to yield is an excellent way to accomplish this. If you make your first 'revert' manually, by editing the article, and then marking it as a minor edit, you can convince everyone else that your opponent violated the three-revert rule, and then get tham banned. Consider everyone to be an opponent, not a colleague, then you can write the entire encyclopedia yourself.
seventeen) You're on a mission to support your local tourism industry. Advertise blatantly. Use more exclamation marks. Always adress people directly ("so, you can see that Cowfield is a great place to work AND play!!!"). Troll in style. Ask to speedy delete or go blanking the United States Republican Party article because you voted for Kerry. Wikipedia is your blog.
18) Nonconsensually censor sententious sentences nonsensically.
Warning: You are not logged in. Your IP address will be recorded in this page's edit history.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
18) Duplicate material excessively. After all, people should see it whichever part of the page they are browsing. 18.1) Warning: You are not logged in. Your IP address will be recorded in this page's edit history.
18) Insert lots of items under the same number. This will make it impossible to refer to them by numbers, and instead people will have to duplicate them as per above rule. 18.1) Warning: You are not logged in. Your IP address will be recorded in this page's edit history.
18) Remember that all people and races are fundamentally different. For example, 10 people waving banners in Kuala Lumpur indicates that Malaysia is a catastrophic hell-hole full of Islamic extremists. However, IRA terrorists bombing bridges and pubs in London is perfectly normal and the UK is still clearly a much safer place than those horrible places we see on TV. Ignore the[w:Patriot act|Anti-patriot act]] American tortures and unlawful detentions multiple stolen elections and insist that the reason people hate America is that they "hate our freedom" and envy our system of government... ignore the fact that we put most of their dictators in power in the first place, and that we remove legitimately elected heads of state at gunpoint.
20) Use font colours and formatting to express your individuality! . We want to fill the Wikipdia with personal touches.
19) Talk: pages were created solely as a forum for you to advance your own personal crusade. People who attempt to limit discussion to the actual article the Talk: page is attached to are narrowminded, biased, and clearly out to hurt you personally. Additionally, odds are they are probably agents of Satan or w:Religious fundamentalists or more likely w:Nazis.
20) ... [This rule is a stub. You can help Wikipedia by deleting it.]
20*20/20-20/0)If you're asked to help Wikipedia by deleting something or cleaning something up, don't do anything. Even better, make it worse. Help Wikipedia? What has Wikipedia ever done for YOU?!
Under 21 need not apply[edit]
21) Wikipedia has a professionally payed team of people whose soul porpoise in life is to copyedit.and check spelling and grammer. It is not you're repsonibilty to check your tpyography.
14-7i) Feel free to use your own complex numbering system.
22) Use the single space indent as often as possible. People need the exercise that comes from having to use their mouse to grab the scroll bar at the bottom of the page and scroll across your fascinating commentary on whatever topic you chose to write about at that particular point in time, because after all it will be really worth it, won't it.
- Haha - Magnus's new script means that this rule doesn't really mean anything any more... it handles the text wrapping. For people who weren't here before, text that used a single space indent would form a single line, even if it scrolled off the page forever.
- That's what you think! The revenege of the single-space intenters!
- 22.1) Don't sign or timestamp your entries on talk pages. No one reads the old stuff, anyways, so no one will be confused by remarks that are no longer applicable. This is particularly true of remarks that only read "I'm with (user) on this one" or "we need to fix that one paragraph."
37) Don't worry about numbers too much. No one cares about maths. (For the greatest anti-rule, see rule 46)
- It's "math", damn it! - See rule 9
- Ah, I just checked. I especially liked the "vice versa" part.
38) Keep in mind that this is a serious project, and your own personal sense of humour will not be tolerated here. (Wikipedia has a professionally paid team of Blue Meanies whose sole purpose in life is to ensure that things are done in the One True Wikipedia Way.) See also rule 13. (And Rule 20) (And while you're at it, rule 48920, even if it doesn't apply or exist. Though, if it doesn't exist, see whatever rule you feel like. It's not like anyone's picky about these things.)
23) Appropriate links?
24) Feel free to use such sources as secret Medieval orders of knights, idiosyncratic religious revelations, or supressed documents from ultrasecret espionage agencies, without giving any sort of documentation / reference to back up your claims. Hey, why shouldn't everyone believe it on your say-so? (See also rules numbers 1 and 19).
25)All articles should deliberitly start with a incompelte sentnce, with the, the article titel in italics, NOT bold with mispalced comas, and poor speling, and be difficult to edit.
T. Join the Association of Sock Puppets
not 26) Edit sparingly. Often, not inserting the tiny but not useful word "not" at the right position can achieve the intended effect quite efficiently. Minor edits like that should not always not be marked as such when not saving.
25) Don't call w:America a fascist country and call the Yank a bigot, because it makes them cry like little girls.
24)
This rule has been deliberately left blank. Except for this message claiming blankness, which is probably a product of your imagination anyway.
25) Remember rule 1, and throw in as much as possible of your opinion, all in the name of Neutral point of view
26) Use every possible alternate spelling of proper names and transliterated names for completeness, ensuring they will show up in a text search on any of them. Make them all open links, and don't bother to redirect them. Never check to see what's already an article under yet another transliteration you forgot. Following this policy would have allowed en.wiki to have at least ten articles on the w:Tetragrammaton, which would lead to much more interesting reading for all of us.
27) Never make an open link to what should be an article, just plan on coming back later to add a single link every single time a sub-article gets written. Certainly everyone will make time to do that critical stuff.
28) Revert articles simply for containing lots of open links - obviously if an area of knowledge or history hasn't already been well covered in Wikipedia, it must not be important. Add irrelevant sentences that disrupt the flow of an article. If attacked by a puma, fight back, pumas have attacked bicyclists due to their predatory reflex. Particularly foreigners' history, or opposing political opinions, or anything that doesn't write for itself like a species or a dead civilization - who cares about stuff like that?
28.9) ..........To do, please flesh out this section, I'll get back to it if I have the time! _\o/_ :o
29) If you have sysop powers, make sure to IP ban anyone that you think might be someone who may possibly have offended someone earlier - no point in letting w:trolls write articles. w:The Economist does, and look at their audience - sheesh. And duplicate material excessively. In particular, if you find a logged-out user editing any article tangentially related to music, it's probably Michael. Be sure to ban the entire ISP with a ban reason of "go fuck yourself michael" or similiar.
30) When in doubt, click the "random page" link and vandalise the first article you get to.
31) Block anyone who disagrees with you, or even deletes one punctuation mark that you added (even if it was an error anyway).
34.2) If the page exists, there's an edit of it. NO EXCEPTIONS.
36) Randomly omit numbers in lists. Also, duplicate material excessively. 36.314159) Duplicate material excessively.
- 37) Indent. (I'm sorry, you should have been directed to rule 46.)
- 38) Indent more.
- 38) Indent more.